i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
