i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
