We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize