Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
