Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize