Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
