I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
