I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
