Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Let's paint friendship bongs
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
