Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
should my penis look like a turkey
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
