So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
