# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
