we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
