But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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