dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
