I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
