i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
