whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
