Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
