Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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