I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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