Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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