I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize