saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
