Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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