you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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