if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
