are you so shy because you have an std?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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