Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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