He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize