Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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