Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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