Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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