so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
