they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize