College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
