I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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