Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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