White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
