i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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