He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
