I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
