Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
