Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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