my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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