One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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