I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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