it's like iHOP with fire
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize