a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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