He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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