Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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