were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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