I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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