Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
