Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My first STD was from a foam party
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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