Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize