Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize