Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
