So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My dick has a subreddit
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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