I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize