i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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