Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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