So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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