I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
