Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
the raccoons are back...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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