i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
