She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
